Dear Australian expats, migrants and travellers

Right now, we understand if you are feeling far from home wherever you are in the world.  

We understand that getting messages from home may be a source of anxiety, that you are watching for news alerts and perhaps feeling tense when those alerts come in.

Like us, you are checking notifications from fire fighters about latest fire conditions, the Fires Near Me App or the Air Quality App.   

You are feeling for loved ones, for your homes and the places you remember.

And yet people around you are probably not interested or don’t understand the complexity of a bushfire and can’t work out why Australia hasn’t put those fires out yet.

Perhaps the pain for those of us when we are far away in difficult times is in feeling we are not working together, evacuating together, being on alert together –forging those bonds that tend to grow in situations of adversity. 

You are not a part of the team who are doing something special in surviving, connecting and rebuilding.  So, what can expats, migrants, travellers, do when far from ‘home’ and sharing the hurt?

There are often practical things we can do –donating to a cause, sending a gift or something you know is needed, but often the most powerful thing is in connecting, talking and above all listening. 

Psychologist often warn about weakened support networks.  Those who are there and close by, may also have experienced challenges and are processing and dealing with their own responses to the trauma.

Someone who lives next door and can help with the practical clean up may have their own issues to worry about and may not be able to really listen with love and caring to what your loved ones have been experiencing. 

Because you weren’t there you may be a better listener to support them than those who were!

Listening and letting them talk may be the greatest gift you can give someone who has recently experienced a traumatic experience.  Often allowing them to replay the event in the natural context of a caring conversation with a friend or family member, will be the greatest aid to recovery. 

Remind your loved ones that often we have strong reactions to tragedy (sleep difficulties, tiredness, difficulties concentrating among others) but that these reactions are normal responses to the challenging situation they have experienced. 

Acknowledge how well they have coped and how proud you are of them. 

Sometimes, too, things can be said in these conversations that may be more difficult to say in an everyday face-to-face conversation.

Take the opportunity to tell your loved ones how much you love and appreciate them.  

And don't forget to take care of you too. 

For more on mental health and wellbeing read here.

Holidays and Celebrations

Like many of you I’m looking at my schedule and planning what needs to be completed between now and the end of the year.  The last few days of the countdown is on.  Each year it seems that the race to festivities and celebrations begins sooner.  Here in Australia Christmas decorations have been in most department stores and many of the large shopping malls for the past two months.

It’s easy to become cynical and negative as the festivities combine with end-of-year pressures creating a pressure cooker effect.  Work tasks combine with work related celebrations and events and leave little time to consider family needs or to reflect on the meaning behind celebrations. 

For expats there are the added challenges of adapting to a culture that may not acknowledge your celebration, or where the climate is opposite to your usual festive triggers, or where your favourite food or decorations may be absent.   

We all enjoy special times and the opportunity to enjoy a new celebration or provide an added twist to an old celebration can be a memory maker.  But once again it requires expats to make a conscious choice – to choose to celebrate, to explore new possibilities and sometimes to be willing to let go of old traditions or adapt them to work in a new location.

We all need holidays to mark the passage of the year.  We need times to reflect on the things that are important to us, our family, friends and cultural and spiritual heritages.  And we need time out from work to remind us what is really important!

I hope you will celebrate well wherever you are and whatever you are celebrating.  I extend wishes of peace and joy to you, your workplaces and families.

And take care of yourselves and each other.

5 Ways to Wellbeing for Expats

The discussions about mental health are growing.  That’s good news.  In society and in workplaces we are becoming more comfortable asking R U OK? We are more aware of the risks of overwork, the dangers of burnout from being always available, and the negative impacts of bullying and unsafe workplaces. 

Focusing specifically on expats, we are aware of the increased risks to mental health for workers on overseas assignment.  A 2011 study showed US expats were 2.5 times more likely to

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Is fear stronger far from home?

It's easier to be afraid when we are far from home.  Close to home, when bad things happen we reach out to others, perhaps do something meaningful together, and the fear lifts.  Away from home the fear can seem more powerful.  Perhaps we are in danger.  We are more vigilant, on high alert for possible threats.

Neuroscience tells us, when we feel threatened our brains change.

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Expats and goal achievement – or, why you might have given up on your New Year’s resolutions.

Recently I was re-reading one of my favourite books about goal achievement (by Heidi Grant Halvorsen) and was struck by the thought that expats - especially new expats - have things stacked against them in achieving their goals.  

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