Dear Australian expats, migrants and travellers

Right now, we understand if you are feeling far from home wherever you are in the world.  

We understand that getting messages from home may be a source of anxiety, that you are watching for news alerts and perhaps feeling tense when those alerts come in.

Like us, you are checking notifications from fire fighters about latest fire conditions, the Fires Near Me App or the Air Quality App.   

You are feeling for loved ones, for your homes and the places you remember.

And yet people around you are probably not interested or don’t understand the complexity of a bushfire and can’t work out why Australia hasn’t put those fires out yet.

Perhaps the pain for those of us when we are far away in difficult times is in feeling we are not working together, evacuating together, being on alert together –forging those bonds that tend to grow in situations of adversity. 

You are not a part of the team who are doing something special in surviving, connecting and rebuilding.  So, what can expats, migrants, travellers, do when far from ‘home’ and sharing the hurt?

There are often practical things we can do –donating to a cause, sending a gift or something you know is needed, but often the most powerful thing is in connecting, talking and above all listening. 

Psychologist often warn about weakened support networks.  Those who are there and close by, may also have experienced challenges and are processing and dealing with their own responses to the trauma.

Someone who lives next door and can help with the practical clean up may have their own issues to worry about and may not be able to really listen with love and caring to what your loved ones have been experiencing. 

Because you weren’t there you may be a better listener to support them than those who were!

Listening and letting them talk may be the greatest gift you can give someone who has recently experienced a traumatic experience.  Often allowing them to replay the event in the natural context of a caring conversation with a friend or family member, will be the greatest aid to recovery. 

Remind your loved ones that often we have strong reactions to tragedy (sleep difficulties, tiredness, difficulties concentrating among others) but that these reactions are normal responses to the challenging situation they have experienced. 

Acknowledge how well they have coped and how proud you are of them. 

Sometimes, too, things can be said in these conversations that may be more difficult to say in an everyday face-to-face conversation.

Take the opportunity to tell your loved ones how much you love and appreciate them.  

And don't forget to take care of you too. 

For more on mental health and wellbeing read here.

Bushfires and Mental Health

The experiences of the bushfires in Australia over the past months have been difficult for so many Australians.  The fires have significantly impacted and will continue to impact on mental health and wellbeing.  The Australian Red Cross and the Australian Psychological Society have published helpful resources for professionals and individuals. 

One of the key things to remember is that our responses to these crises and traumas will be different for everyone.  Our best ways of managing and taking care of ourselves will also be individual. 

Many people recover well from exposure to disasters with some basic support.  That support might initially be physical, a safe place to stay, food to eat, money to pay the bills.  Basic support also includes time to rest and relax and to connect with others.

Recognise that you have been through a distressing experience and give yourself permission to experience some reaction to it. Perhaps during the crisis period, you felt you had to be strong for others.  Now that you are out of danger you don’t have to be tough.   

People react in many ways. 

From numbness, to anger and frustration, sadness and despair, guilt or regret, euphoria and excitement, helplessness and longing for what is lost –all are ‘normal’ responses to a very abnormal situation.  You may also feel physical responses –headaches, difficulty sleeping, eating and digestion problems, weight loss or gain.  Your past experiences of other traumatic situations may be deepening these responses so it can help to acknowledge the previous experiences as well as more recent ones.

Don’t be angry with yourself for your responses, instead treat yourself with compassion – as you would a close friend who has been through a difficult experience. 

Express your feelings.  For you, that might mean talking with someone or writing in a diary, creating some art, or playing music.

Find people who support you – connect with friends, family, your local community. Those who are close by may be helpful as they may have shared the experience with you, but remember they too have had significant exposure and may need to take care of themselves in their own way.  

Rest, eat well, drink lots of fluids - avoid overuse of alcohol or other drugs to cope.

Take time away from social media, news programs or articles where you are re-exposed to the sights and sounds of the bushfires. If you need to keep watching and listening, try and focus your attention on the stories of kindness and courage.

Avoid making any major decisions or big life changes.  Give yourself time to recover.

In reality we know this stuff, our challenge is to actually do it.

Above all, be kind to yourself and others at this difficult time.

And if you need to – reach out for help.

Lifeline            13 11 14

Beyond Blue   1300 22 4636

Red Cross       1800 733 276

Photo Courtesy of Brendan from Mallacoota

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