Dear Australian expats, migrants and travellers

Right now, we understand if you are feeling far from home wherever you are in the world.  

We understand that getting messages from home may be a source of anxiety, that you are watching for news alerts and perhaps feeling tense when those alerts come in.

Like us, you are checking notifications from fire fighters about latest fire conditions, the Fires Near Me App or the Air Quality App.   

You are feeling for loved ones, for your homes and the places you remember.

And yet people around you are probably not interested or don’t understand the complexity of a bushfire and can’t work out why Australia hasn’t put those fires out yet.

Perhaps the pain for those of us when we are far away in difficult times is in feeling we are not working together, evacuating together, being on alert together –forging those bonds that tend to grow in situations of adversity. 

You are not a part of the team who are doing something special in surviving, connecting and rebuilding.  So, what can expats, migrants, travellers, do when far from ‘home’ and sharing the hurt?

There are often practical things we can do –donating to a cause, sending a gift or something you know is needed, but often the most powerful thing is in connecting, talking and above all listening. 

Psychologist often warn about weakened support networks.  Those who are there and close by, may also have experienced challenges and are processing and dealing with their own responses to the trauma.

Someone who lives next door and can help with the practical clean up may have their own issues to worry about and may not be able to really listen with love and caring to what your loved ones have been experiencing. 

Because you weren’t there you may be a better listener to support them than those who were!

Listening and letting them talk may be the greatest gift you can give someone who has recently experienced a traumatic experience.  Often allowing them to replay the event in the natural context of a caring conversation with a friend or family member, will be the greatest aid to recovery. 

Remind your loved ones that often we have strong reactions to tragedy (sleep difficulties, tiredness, difficulties concentrating among others) but that these reactions are normal responses to the challenging situation they have experienced. 

Acknowledge how well they have coped and how proud you are of them. 

Sometimes, too, things can be said in these conversations that may be more difficult to say in an everyday face-to-face conversation.

Take the opportunity to tell your loved ones how much you love and appreciate them.  

And don't forget to take care of you too. 

For more on mental health and wellbeing read here.