It doesn’t have to be a lonely planet - Global networking skills

So you’ve moved overseas.  You need to build relationships.  Work relationships and social relationships. There may be barriers of language and culture; there will be barriers of unfamiliarity.  Unless you have connections that know and trust you –you will be seen as a newcomer, an outsider. 

How can you bridge that gap to effectively build relationships?

It won’t come as any surprise to regular readers of this blog that cultural intelligence is the first thing I believe you need to build effective global relationships.  So how can CQ help?

Remember the four components of cultural intelligence – drive, knowledge, strategy and action?  People who are higher in CQ Drive are more interested in experiencing other cultural environments and have more confidence that they can interact well with people from diverse backgrounds.  So it’s no surprise that the research shows that they are more likely than those with low CQ Drive to feel better adjusted –including interaction adjustment.  They are comfortable interacting with the people from the new cultural background.  The research also shows they adjust better at work and from a general everyday perspective.

So how can we build and encourage that sort of CQ Drive in ourselves, and others? One of the motivational aspects that stands out when I am working with people is the attitude of openness and curiosity.  That attitude motivates people to explore, to reach out to people, to want to experience new things and build new relationships.  It can begin with a simple question; “I wonder if….?”  I wonder if people here like football?  I wonder if my new colleagues have a long commute? I wonder what they enjoyed studying at university?

My recent webinar guest Colleen Reichrath-Smith, co-author of A Career in your suitcase, spoke about the need for expat partners to network in their new locations to build the relationships to support their career exploration and their new lives.  She challenged us to “be willing to become uncomfortably open. “  To be willing to ask for help, for introductions, for directions, referrals to services - this often requires openness and vulnerability. 

It also requires some wisdom to know how to do so appropriately in this culture – and that’s where CQ knowledge comes in.  How does meeting and greeting happen here?  How do interactions and communications flow most smoothly?  These questions can be answered by a good cultural mentor, a cultural awareness training session, and continued observation.   And that observation combines with reflection on your own actions and others reactions and interactions with you –this is high CQ Strategy.  To be able to recognize when you have shaken hands too vigorously, or spoken too loudly for the surroundings, or asked an inappropriate question, gives you the advantage that you can adjust and adapt and change your CQ Actions to be more appropriate and supportive of developing relationships.

It doesn’t mean you will build great relationships with everyone. Just as in our own culture, personality plays a part in those we relate well with and those we find more difficult to get along with.  It can be helpful to “let the culture off the hook” sometimes!

One of my expatriate advisor colleagues, Rachel Yates, reminded me when I was researching this blog post that networking in a new location is “a numbers game”  -you’ve got to get out and meet and interact with people and the more you do so the sooner or later you will meet people you really click with.   She challenges people in new locations to say Yes to every invitation. 

Dr. Barbara Fredrickson in her recent book, Love 2.0, wrote about the impact on our lives of what she terms Positivity Resonance or more simply, love. Her research shows those moments of real connection between people have significant impacts on our physical and mental health.  She doesn’t just mean connections with those we are intimate with, but all the moments where true connection happens.  Someone you meet in the street, someone you share a smile or a knowing look with over a child, or a work challenge.  These moments feed our souls and create the connections that we need to be emotionally present in our new locations.  

It doesn’t have to be a lonely planet but it does take work, willingness to be vulnerable, and high CQ!