Manage the stress of moving

So you’re moving!  A new location, a new home, new places to explore, new friends, a new job.  Exciting and challenging at the same time.  Your home is for sale or being prepared to rent.  Belongings need to be sorted, discarded, packed or stored.  And the do-list with 1000 items is constantly demanding your attention.

Yes, moving can be stressful.  Even when you are 100% positive about the move, the things to be done can become overwhelming.    And the emotional side of saying goodbye and leaving can be difficult.  If you are less than positive about the move, perhaps feeling it is a move that has to be made to meet the needs of a partner or work requirements, then the stress can be even higher.

How can we manage these challenges to relieve some of the stress?  A number of factors may be helpful.  It may seem like there is an overwhelming amount of things to be done.  From returning library books, to cancelling the cable subscription, finishing last-minute renovations and getting rid of the things you don’t want to move with you, the list goes on and on.  The reality is that there actually is an overwhelming amount of things to be done!

This is one time you really do need a list and to tick things off as they are completed.  Many moving companies provide lists of things to remember in their information packs that may give a starting point.

Placing things that need to be remembered on a list will allow your mind to relax as it no longer has to take responsibility for remembering everything.

The task may also appear a little less daunting as it is reduced to a list of things to do as opposed to a general feeling of continuous demands.  If you feel that the situation of moving has taken you outside of your sphere of control you may feel more in control as you order your priorities with a list and progress through the tasks.  And yes, there will be an element of satisfaction in crossing things out as you go.

If you are viewing the move from a negative perspective, perhaps feeling that it is a move you ‘have’ to make rather than one you are choosing to make it may help to try and change the frame you are placing around the picture of the move in your mind.  Consider what the gains you will make from the move are.  Remind yourself that these gains are valuable to you and you are choosing to accept these gains which come with the move.

Acknowledge that the losses to you are very powerful and then choose to view the gains in a positive light despite the pain of the loss.  Recognise that you do have a choice to stay or go.  It may be a limited choice which seems to you to be weighted firmly in one direction but a choice does exist and you are making that choice.  As you gain a greater sense of ‘ownership’ of the decision to move your stress levels will decrease and your awareness of your skills in the situation will increase. 

As always in challenging situations you will manage the mental and emotional aspects better if you stay physically on top.  Watch the amount of sleep you are getting and the diet you are eating.  And take time out to exercise and relieve the adrenaline levels by pushing your physical limits and then enjoying the subsequent relaxation when you body is naturally tired.  Make a conscious decision to do less harm than good to your physical health.

The combination of time pressures, farewell parties, and packing up of the kitchen may mean more take-away food, more alcohol and less sleep.  Choose to balance the less healthy with some healthy options such as choosing the salad take away, or staying hydrated while drinking alcohol to balance the negative effects. When time demands mean there is little time left for you, make a point of doing some small thing to maintain your health, possibly taking five minutes to stretch, taking a vitamin supplement, drinking more water or enjoying a half an hour massage.

Saying goodbye can be difficult.  Even when we are leaving for the greatest location, the dream job, or to be with someone special the farewells to family and friends left behind can be sad.  Acknowledge that you will miss those people you are leaving and make plans to stay in touch and to keep connected.   Recognise the value of the relationships you have built in your current location and appreciate them.  Queen Elizabeth said at Princess Diana’s funeral that ‘grief is the price we pay for love’ and the sadness we feel in saying goodbye is a form of grief.  On the positive side, if you have made great friends in this place you will be able to take those skills and make new friends in your new location.

The last few weeks before you leave can be extremely busy.  Take time to say goodbyes, enjoy the farewell parties, visit those special places that are part of your memories and then step out to the new location with the feeling that you have left well and you are looking forward confidently to your new life.

What suggestions do you have to manage moving stress and leave well?  Please let us know in the comments below.